something real.....

oh parenthood. you. get. life - my life. 

so fragile, yet so fun. so emotional, yet so empowering. 

Ashley - From tonight's episode I learned that I need to let you spread your wings and fly.  You don't need to write your story on a piece of paper because everyone else is doing it....tell it how you wish... afterall, it's your story.

Today, you became a part of something new, something greater and something you chose.  New beginnings are tough for us.  We've seen so many past excitements, hopes, dreams go by the wayside because of challenges you have had with social environments.  And just like everyday these past few months, I saw something different, I saw a twinkle.  it's sounds so cliche but it's true.  At gymnastics today, you lit up like you do when you ride a roller coaster.  This emotion is real. very real.  I absolutely love seeing it.  When I see it, you are unstoppable, fearless -- on top of the world.

Just like your very first competitive game four years ago, I hope you will remember today and the way it felt to step out, have fun and become empowered to be the best you can be!  You are on your way girl!!  yes. you. are.

I just love you...

- love you for the crazy way you jump out of the car in the morning and scream until you reach your school's front door. 
- love how you think your orange gatorade mustache is cool and should stay the entire day because there is no reason to wipe it off.  Afterall, you will be drinking more later.
- love how you nurture those who need it most and look for nothing in return.
- love your outside of the box thinking skills and when you say, "See, I'm an outside the box thinker."
- love your ambition.  you have it.  lots of it.

from hurry up....to never grow up

I used to count the days to your birthday wishing it would come fast so I could start calling you two instead of one, three instead of two, etc... and now the thought of you turning NINE just creates a river of tears and turns on an emotion like never before.  I'm not sure if the emotion is being magnified because I'm watching TV shows where kids are going off to college or the fact that a few of the Taylor Swift songs you play are songs about "the best days" and to "never grow up" or if it's that maybe I consider nine to be the halfway point.

Whatever the case may be, I don't LIKE it.  I am now ready to put the brakes on and really wanting to cherish every single little moment.  OK....don't get me wrong, I am still the normal mom that wants you to stop whining, make your own breakfast, get your own clothes for school, etc... but I am now also the mom that takes a photo every time you are asleep, stares at you in my rear view mirror and smiles at you because you put too many bubbles in the bathtub and you are calling for help because you can't see.

I am trying to do less whining about the little things because as I told daddy this week, those are going to be the exact things I will miss the day you leave for college. I know I am going to beat myself up on the day you leave for not loving all those little things you do when I had the chance.

So, I am trying and I am taking it all in.  I also took a trip down memory lane and found photos from your past birthdays.  They happened so fast, I barely had the chance to enjoy you during those moments.  Life happened so fast, I never actually had the chance to print any of the photos out from your parties and I'm now trying to pull little tidbits from each celebration.  I've put my greatest memories below.  I'm not sure how you remember them but want you to always know how I did.

Your 1ST Birthday!  I made the cake...and it was the last cake I ever made.  We celebrated at our house and the thought of you getting cake on your shirt made me sick to my stomach.  I soon got over this and now allow you to get whatever you like on your shirt.

Your 2ND Birthday!  On your second birthday, we celebrated at home and had a Strawberry Shortcake Theme.  We invited kids from the daycare and family.  Herkie and Josabi even made their way to San Antonio to celebrate. (Looking for a photo)

Your 3RD Birthday! We secured your party at a place where you could bring the outdoors-in.  There were playground sets, bouncers, etc...  We even had a friend dress up as Dora the Explorer, your favorite.  You were terrified of the costume though and would have nothing to do with it. (Looking for a photo)

Your 4th Birthday!  We had a BALL on your 4th birthday and invited friends to come dressed as a prince, ballerina or princess.  We transformed the dining room into a princess themed event and served lasagna and salad. (Looking for a photo)

Your 5TH Birthday at Mimi & Herkie's.  We managed to throw a small birthday party for you and Lucas during Thanksgiving at Mimi and Herkie's.  It was small but you had so much fun celebrating with your cousins.

Your 5TH Birthday!  We had it at Josabi's on a cold Sunday afternoon.  You invited your friend, Arden and family.  We took you to PartyCity and you picked various decorations of interest. (none of them matched and that was ok.

Your 6th Birthday!  We had it at Josabi's on a cold Sunday afternoon.  The Toadies were scheduled to play on stage that night and they did their sound check during your party.  When they weren't sound checking, you played Hannah Montana and had a chocolate/candy themed party.  Your guests were able to make candy necklaces, pass the candy, pin the lollipop on Ashley and had their faces painted with various candy designs.  You invited your entire kindergarten class and your family. You received your first guitar on this birthday and it was a purple Hannah Montana guitar.  The Toadies were the first band to sign it.

Your 7TH Birthday.  We had your 7th Birthday at BIG'Z Burgers and you invited family and a few friends from school.  You waited for Gage to arrive for most of the party and had an ICarly birthday cake.  You were so busy playing soccer and tag on the grassy field you forgot to eat your cake.

Your 8TH Birthday was at Skateland West.  You invited your family and your BFF, Kierstan.  You had a lot of fun and almost won Limbo out on the floor.  You opened your presents only to stop halfway through so you and your guests could participate in the fast skate.

We are now on the cusp of your 9th birthday and your ideas of how and where to celebrate your birthday have changed about a 100 times.  Some of the things you have mentioned over the year are a birthday party at Chuck e Cheese, the bowling alley, the roller rink, your house, a hotel, and your most recent, a request to take three friends to Disney World.  You have specified that you would like doughnuts delivered to school instead of cupcakes.  I'm not sure where we'll end up but one thing I do know for sure is that I will enjoy each and every moment I have with you on your special day.

In search of a gift....

It's a natural thought.  Everyone or every parent has had it at least once, most over and over again.  We want to find it and find it fast.  Most of what we want or hope to find is the popular choice.  The option that provides us with the greatest response, the longest chance of conversation, the greatest collection of friends and the highest chance of success -- YOUR GIFT.

Your gift is something I have been in search of since the day you were born.  I have selfishly wondered what it would be and how it would affect you.  I have quizzed you hoping it would be the gift of academics, I have recorded you hoping it would be the sound of your voice, I have signed you up for dance, sports, gymnastics and swimming hoping it would be the power of your body.

While you are skilled in many ways at all of the things listed above, I have never been so moved while in search of your gift until this past week.  It isn't something you see during a sporting event on the Olympics or a song you hear on American Idol -- yet, it's so powerful it can move mountains.  It's your GIFT!  As I realized this, it was as if past moments had been unlocked from a storage in my brain.  Over the past few days, I have been replaying them in my mind and am so amazed at the POWER of your gift.

 So here is the story of how and when I finally realized YOUR GIFT!

"It's time to sell Nuts for Girl Scouts." I said to you on Sunday night.  You quickly hopped over to me with your nut sheet in hand and wrote down your goals.  "$1,000 dollars in sales."  You said, in the most confident voice.  "WOW, "that's the top goal on the sheet." I said.  "I know, but that's what I want to do."  I applauded you for having such ambitious goals and then asked you how you would make this goal.  Before I could finish my sentence, you asked if you could take the form to school the next day.  I shook my head and said yes, thinking you would just ask your current teachers.  I also told you that you shouldn't ask your fellow classmates as we couldn't risk purchasing the item and they not being able to pay.  You said, "Okay." and our conversation was over.

The next day I picked you up from gymnastics and we went for a bite to eat.  On the way back, you asked if we could go back to the gym to pick up your nut form.  I agreed and then asked you if she sold any nuts.  You said, "mom, I only have 11 lines left on my form."  My instant response was, "Ashley, I told you not to sell to students."  You said, "Mom, I didn't.  I only sold to adults."  So we got the form and I looked at it in AWE!  I was shocked.  You asked teachers, administration, the ALE teachers, the TLC teachers -- EVERYONE!  When I asked how you did this, you said, "I asked my teacher if I could sell nuts during my recess time.  I then went from teacher to teacher and asked if they wanted to buy something."  The funniest part came when you said, "Mom, it's hard for them to say no to me."  We continued our conversation as I tallied up the order.  I looked back at you and said do you realize you sold 34 items in one day.  You looked at me and said, "I know! And tomorrow I'm going to sell again."

I further learned when dropping off a surprise lunch for you at school this week that you also stated your goals and were very confident when asking for the sale.  I've often seen you in action, sometimes saying, that little girl is to going to be a powerful salesperson but I never looked at it as YOUR GIFT, YOUR something that makes you who you are, that makes you unique, special, amazing, spectacular.

You are an AMAZING motivator!  You have the power to move people, to give them a reason to believe; you can find their strengths and weaknesses and use it to empower them and you make moments into everlasting memories for those who cross your path.  YOU have a GIFT and this is something that no one can take from you unless you let them.

Your GIFT has taught me a lesson; the lesson to stop searching for things society says you should have or be in order to be successful and to start embracing who you are and what you have or can do at that very moment.  We all have a gift, we just need to have the patience to understand that a GIFT comes in all different forms and at different times in our lives.  None are better than others but simply different.

I found this sheet in your school bag the other day and it's PERFECT.  It said.....

I'm not perfect.  Other people are not perfect. I have some faults.  Other people do too.  

I don't have to wait until I'm perfect to be OK.  I am OK because I am who I am.

These are five things that are unique about me:

1. I am good at swimming

2. I am good at sports

3. I am good at school

4. I am good at math

5. I am good at writing

My favorite kind of sandwich is: all sandwiches

Let's go to the beach, each let's go get away....

"We're business owners, we can't go on vacation.  Who's going to open?  Who's going to close?  Who's going to fix the little things while we're gone?"  This is seriously what comes out of John's mouth every time I talk about going on a family vacation.

I get it!  I really do.  But sometimes, I just want to get away.  Forget about the business and just be a cute little family doing fun stuff!  No phones, no stress and no worries.

Eeek....... "a week, no. Two days, maybe!"  I'll take it.

And just like that the Jansky mini-vacations went from maybe to YES.

This time it was destination: Corpus Christi, TX!

It's been a good four years since the Jansky's took a trip to the beach and the beaches we're used to are full of beautiful sand, crystal clear waters and nice resort style pools just inches away from our beach chairs and towels.  We knew this experience would be no Cabo San Lucas; however, we wanted to enjoy our family and this would be a perfect trip no matter what!

John planned out the trip for us and booked a lovely hotel room just off the Corpus Christi Bay.  He packed an ice chest full of goodies, brought an umbrella and some chairs and off we rode down to Corpus Christi.  We arrived at night so we had an entire day to spend enjoying the beach and hanging out around town.  It was a quick trip and we had a great time conversing and enjoying John's satellite radio.

We woke up the next morning and headed to a live-music venue in Corpus to have a burger and check out the place.  After all, there are a ton of great acts passing through this place and it deserved a look or two around.  Ashley and I even played basketball while we were there!

After lunch we headed off to the beach.  We decided on the closest area as we aren't big-time beach fanatics and weren't sure how our little trip would turn out.  So, off we went.  We found a spot, parked our car and setup our area.  WOW, we are total rookies!  Why didn't someone tell me that bringing umbrellas to the beach is so 1980's?  HELLO!!  Our setup looked quite pitiful and honestly didn't last five minutes!  The umbrella's top flew away and slapped John & me in the face a couple of times!
We wrestled with it a few minutes longer and finally threw in the towel.  After lubing up to the nth degree, we took a dive in the lovely murky waters off the Texas coast.

We were in there for about five minutes when the entire family decided we'd had enough of the beach.  While we thought we were through, we actually managed to hang out for a few hours.  We spent those hours playing in the sand and looking for beach shells for Ashley.  It was our job to find them and her job to tell us to keep looking!

Ashley also hated the feel of dry sand on her wet feet so we had to transport her from the wet part of the beach, to the chair and then to the car.  Can someone say Diva?  or is this truly a sensory issue?  We will never know.  At any rate, when I do something like this for her, she tells me she's helping me workout!  Can you say master manipulator?  WHEW!!

After the beach, we went swimming and then headed out to dinner!  We enjoyed each other's company and then headed back to the hotel to catch some sleep!  We woke up the next morning and headed back to SA!

It was a short trip but a great trip!  The memories I have from this trip are GREAT memories!  All I can see is Ashley's smiling face and John fully engaged in the activities and conversation!!

I guess you can say....I'm starting to dig these little MINI-vacations.  I wonder where we'll go next.

hot diggity dog......

Seriously?!!?!  Really?!!??  OK!!  Well, we kind of knew Ashley had the most amazing first week of school EVER but we didn't really know how well until we received this email from her teacher!

 

WOW!  For some, these days or weeks happen all the time.  For us, well we just never know.  While we hope weeks like these are here to stay, Ashley tends to ride a roller coaster when it comes to behavior.  Just when we think a pattern is established, it goes the opposite direction.

Thank you to Ashley's teacher for this email!!  You will never ever truly know what these mean to us!!  And to Ashley....keep up the good work!  We know you have it in you...You are a fighter, a survivor and you're gonna knock the pants off of 3rd grade! 

your very first day of third grade

My oh my, where did the time go?  Here you are my little girl blossoming into a tween right before my eyes!  I hope that you will always keep up this positive spirit you possess and a love for school!

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!