Run, Run, as fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man

Run, Run, as fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!

This has got to be one of the most over-used phrases in all of kindergarten history! Go ahead, test it on a child who has been through kinder. Let them finish the phrase. They will probably do so without you even prompting them. I just don't get it. Why is this phrase so important?

Owell --- Ashley, quick -- run, run, as fast as you can -- you can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!

I am bent, not broken!

Lately, life as I know it is just a mess! I am a ball of emotion when it comes to the reactions I get from the actions of our daughter. She is all things you want in an adult and nothing her peers, teachers, school, or sitters want in a child. She is outgoing, independent (yet cuddly), ambitious, a leader, a decision maker, a communicator and very, very energetic. Her greatest weakness is that she wants to make and define the rules not follow them.

Every week is like a roller coaster ride except we don't know which direction we'll be taking. As a mom, I try to take the good with the bad, balance out the weaknesses for all the positives and strengths our daughter has, but with each passing day I find it harder and harder to do. We are bombarded with the negatives on a daily basis.

Hope is right in front of me and while I don't want to find an excuse for my daughters defiant behavior, I just want validation that what is going on is not because of a lack of leadership or poor parenting from John and me.

I am not a stonewall mom. I don't have tough skin and I don't know how to cope with rejection/judgement placed on myself or my family. I am a sponge and have always been a sponge. I soak up the emotions and feelings of my friends, families and strangers hoping that in some way I am relieving them of their pain and in return I am filled with tears of sadness. Today mostly, I am filled with tears of sadness for Ashley.

Am I over-reacting? Have I put too much pressure on my daughter, my husband and myself to fit the mold of society and worry about social acceptance? Should I care? Will it change her/our path? Sometimes I think I need to suck it up and stop feeling sorry for myself and for Ashley and consider this: Is Ashley happy? -- The Answer: Ashley is happy every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every year!

I know this is just a moment in time where uncertainty has taken over. I am bent not broken! As with other things in my life, this time of sadness and doubt will pass.

This past weekend was pretty amazing. John, Ashley & I spent a lot of time together doing some fun stuff. On Friday, John & Ashley went bowling with Arden and Rene and then I met up with them at Pappasitto's for lunch.

Saturday, we got up and let Ashley do the choosing on where to eat lunch for the day. Of course, she picked Luby Lu's -- Her favorite place because you don't have to wait to get your food -- you just get it as soon as you walk in. After lunch we headed to the movies to see Alvin and the Chipmunks! It was Awesome. We hung out for the day and then took a short little shopping trip to Walmart. Ashley was so greatful for this trip. She told me it was the best shopping trip ever and thanked me for the Spongebob Umbrella and the new Wizards of Waverly bag. Ashley is so greatful and always says thank you without being prompted, when we do things for her!

On Sunday, we headed out to Outback Steakhouse for lunch and then played a game of Life. It's a little young for Ashley but that's okay...she loved it. It was finally the first game we played where Ashley said, "This is a long game." After awhile, John took Ashley to Chuck E Cheese. Ashley and I took another little trip to Bath and Body Works to stock up on the home fragrance plug-ins and then headed to YMCA to sign up Ashley for Afterschool fun. They were closed. We then grabbed Pei Wei to go and headed home to eat and prepare for school.

This morning was priceless. It was the happiest I had seen Ashley in a long time. She was so eager to get to school that we had to stall by dropping mail at the mailbox down the street because the campus wasn't open yet. I love this about Ashley. She has so much emotion inside of her! She loves life to the fullest! Then, the school called around 11:30 and Ashley had already had two accidents today. I came up to the school with a second change of clothes and Ashley was balling -- she told me she wanted to go home and how she didn't love school anymore. She had gotten in trouble in the cafeteria. She said she went to hug Rachel and accidentally choked her instead. I think she just squeezed too tight. Ashley has always had a problem with personal space and knowing how soft or hard she is touching someone.

How can a child go from one extreme to another? It saddens me to watch a train-wreck happen and not be able to control it. I am sad, angry and lost! I am trying to figure out how best to approach. Help is just around the corner...I can taste it!

Welcome 1.1.10!

It's January 1st, 2010 and the beginning of a new year. New files will be made capturing our financial portfolios, the years best photos and crafty projects I'd like to do. "Life with the Jansky's" will also be a place where I plan on capturing the many, many things our family says and does each and everyday.

Ashley is only 6 years old and I've already forgotten what her first words were, how old she was when we potty trained her and other key milestones. I don't ever want to forget the first time Ashley learned how to swing on her own or the day she thought she was ready for daddy to remove the training wheels from her bike.

It's time to record the ups and downs of our busy, exciting life. The happy times as well as the struggles we encounter at home and with our businesses. Recording these times too will allow me to look back 20 years from now and realize that happiness and success didn't and doesn't happen overnight!

CHEERS to 2010!