sometimes you gotta just be YOU!

sometimes you gotta just be YOU!!  No ADHD altering medications -- just YOU.  The days are longer, the moments more challenging but the payoff is worth it.  Your smile lights up the sky, your laugh infectious, your hugs are the size of giants and your love the size of mountains.  Daddy says, "He loves these days."  I do too. 

Girl, you're amazing -- just the way you are!

xoxo,
mommy & daddy

Your "Golden" Birthday

A friend taught me a few years back how every person has one golden birthday in their lifetime.  It sounded interesting to me so I further investigated the topic and found that it's true.  Your golden birthday is the age of the date you were born and is suppose to be the most magical birthday in your life.  I'm sad to say I don't remember much about my golden birthday as it happened on my very first year.  However, for Ashley, it's a different story.  She was born on the ninth day of the month and would have the opportunity to enjoy and remember her ninth birthday.

Knowing it was just around the corner, we planned for the best birthday yet. We started the day off with a party at Chuck e Cheese and followed it up with a slumber party by inviting Ashley's cousin, Kayla, a few friends from school, gymnastics and girl scouts.

The party at Chuck e Cheese was a smashing success and had a mix of family, girl scout friends, school friends and Gymnastics friends in attendance.  It went by so fast though, we barely had time to open presents and pull the pinata strings from your pinata.  With help from your cousin and a friend, we quickly organized everything and headed home to prepare for your slumber party.

"Ding Dong."  This was the so called buzzer that started your first ever slumber party.  You ran to the door and eagerly answered it.  five more doorbell sounds later and everyone was ready to celebrate your birthday and enjoy a night full of laughs, food, dancing and more.  We started off the party by handing each of your friends a gift for coming.  It was a new and cozy blanket to use during the night and to take home with them.  This was definitely a hit and everyone walked around all night carrying their blanket.  We followed up with a couple of rules and your one and only rule that night was NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH MY ELF, ROSY BOB!  In my head, I was thinking there is no way this could happen as Rosy Bob was perched at the top of our nine foot Christmas tree.

I ordered a pizza thinking I'd be the worst mom on the planet if I didn't feed you girls something more than chips, smores and popcorn.  I decided to throw in an order of bread sticks for me.  The pizza delivery man arrived and mistakenly rang the doorbell.  You would've thought he was one direction standing at our door.  Screams echoed the hall and the poor guy was left standing on the porch in shock.  I smiled, paid and quickly handed out the pizza.  Every.Single.Piece.Was.Eaten. -- What???

The night carried on and y'all engaged in hilarious conversations, caroling in the driveway, rocking out to Just Dance 4 on Wii, eating various types of snacks, pizza and drinks as well as taking fun photos in the white box (see below).

You received a nerf gun for your birthday from Cooper and y'all decided to take it out and play with it.  It ended up in Kayla's hands and before we knew it -- Rosy Bob had become the target of a girls sleepover and Kayla was shooting at your elf while the girls surrounded the tree laughing and rooting her on.  You too, were in the middle of the fun and enjoyed watching your elf get shot down by your own nerf gun.  As the fun continued, he eventually started to fall and then finally did fall to the bottom of the tree.  Your friend picked it up and while I started to panic.  I quickly said in a laughing voice "drop it, drop it.  You can't touch the elf or he'll lose his magic powers."  She threw the elf into the kitchen and as I turned around you were running to my bedroom in tears.  You were truly saddened and worried the elf had lost his magical powers.

Still in a panic, I quickly grabbed the book and said if you read the book again, your elf will regain it's magical powers.  I have to say, I've never seen you so eager to read a book.  Y'all read the book and we grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, picked him up and placed him in a candy dish up on our book case.  whew! HE WAS SAFE AGAIN!

The slumber party carried on and you shared a few more laughs and stories with your friends.  In the morning, y'all woke up eager to see where and if the elf had moved.  You quickly discovered he had rolled down the stairs in a roll of toilet paper and everyone shared in the joy and spirit of your elf, Rosy Bob.

I sent text updates to daddy and he laughed so hard he cried.  And on this day, your ninth birthday -- we saw you experience the moments we've always hoped you would have.

Happy Ninth "Golden" Birthday Ashley!  May it be one of your best memories yet!

snug as a bug in a rug

I remember years ago,
you were so little then.
Sometimes,
I can't help but wish,
that you were small again.
I've cried when you've faced rejection,
and saw, that as you grew,
nothing broke your Spirit,
instead it strengthened you.
I'm filled with mixed emotions,
as I hold back all the tears
and, with much pride remember,
back so many years.
When I first held you in my arms,
if only I'd have known,
the years would feel like moments,
after you had grown.
You're still a child,
though in my eyes,
I guess you'll always be,
that baby girl who changed my life,
and means the world to me.

Source: Though You Are Grown, Growing Up Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/though-you-are-grown#ixzz2F6ZywPbC
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

the many lessons of life in less than a week

It has been a tough week in our household.  Lessons are being learned each and every day. They are tough lessons for us all but necessary and all part of the growing up process.  Patience, respect, dedication, honesty, self control and self awareness are some of the lessons being taught and learned.  I never imagined we'd have to go through all of them in one week but then again I also never imagined parenting would be this hard on any one day.

While I doubt myself and my parenting skills on a weekly basis, I do know that I am stronger because I am a parent. I too was taught these skills as a child but have had to re-learn or revamp how I use them to establish and maintain my relationship with our little girl.

She challenges every ounce of my patience each and every day and somehow, somewhere I grow a little more patience...just enough that I can get through the day.

Another big lesson our family has encountered in the past nine years is rejection and how to deal with it when you are faced with it on a daily basis.

Sure, everyone at many times in their lives is faced with rejection and the fear of rejection.  I have to say I had my fair share as a child and well into my teens and young college life.  I'd lost out on homecoming queen in 10th grade or didn't make varsity my sophomore year when one of my very best friends did and I was laid off from my first job out of college.  It's part of life.  It happens; however, I never imagined the rejection my daughter receives on a daily basis would be far more crippling than any rejection I ever experienced.

As we travel through the minutes, hours, days and weeks, I find myself searching for the right way to teach, accept and re-learn the many lessons of life.  Even as an adult, I find it tough.  There really is no right and wrong answer.  I simply wake up each day and do the best I can with what I have for that day.  And just like other things in life, we have our good days and our bad days.  With each lesson learned though, we become a little better, grow a little bigger and appreciate each other a little more.

something real.....

oh parenthood. you. get. life - my life. 

so fragile, yet so fun. so emotional, yet so empowering. 

Ashley - From tonight's episode I learned that I need to let you spread your wings and fly.  You don't need to write your story on a piece of paper because everyone else is doing it....tell it how you wish... afterall, it's your story.

Today, you became a part of something new, something greater and something you chose.  New beginnings are tough for us.  We've seen so many past excitements, hopes, dreams go by the wayside because of challenges you have had with social environments.  And just like everyday these past few months, I saw something different, I saw a twinkle.  it's sounds so cliche but it's true.  At gymnastics today, you lit up like you do when you ride a roller coaster.  This emotion is real. very real.  I absolutely love seeing it.  When I see it, you are unstoppable, fearless -- on top of the world.

Just like your very first competitive game four years ago, I hope you will remember today and the way it felt to step out, have fun and become empowered to be the best you can be!  You are on your way girl!!  yes. you. are.

I just love you...

- love you for the crazy way you jump out of the car in the morning and scream until you reach your school's front door. 
- love how you think your orange gatorade mustache is cool and should stay the entire day because there is no reason to wipe it off.  Afterall, you will be drinking more later.
- love how you nurture those who need it most and look for nothing in return.
- love your outside of the box thinking skills and when you say, "See, I'm an outside the box thinker."
- love your ambition.  you have it.  lots of it.

from hurry up....to never grow up

I used to count the days to your birthday wishing it would come fast so I could start calling you two instead of one, three instead of two, etc... and now the thought of you turning NINE just creates a river of tears and turns on an emotion like never before.  I'm not sure if the emotion is being magnified because I'm watching TV shows where kids are going off to college or the fact that a few of the Taylor Swift songs you play are songs about "the best days" and to "never grow up" or if it's that maybe I consider nine to be the halfway point.

Whatever the case may be, I don't LIKE it.  I am now ready to put the brakes on and really wanting to cherish every single little moment.  OK....don't get me wrong, I am still the normal mom that wants you to stop whining, make your own breakfast, get your own clothes for school, etc... but I am now also the mom that takes a photo every time you are asleep, stares at you in my rear view mirror and smiles at you because you put too many bubbles in the bathtub and you are calling for help because you can't see.

I am trying to do less whining about the little things because as I told daddy this week, those are going to be the exact things I will miss the day you leave for college. I know I am going to beat myself up on the day you leave for not loving all those little things you do when I had the chance.

So, I am trying and I am taking it all in.  I also took a trip down memory lane and found photos from your past birthdays.  They happened so fast, I barely had the chance to enjoy you during those moments.  Life happened so fast, I never actually had the chance to print any of the photos out from your parties and I'm now trying to pull little tidbits from each celebration.  I've put my greatest memories below.  I'm not sure how you remember them but want you to always know how I did.

Your 1ST Birthday!  I made the cake...and it was the last cake I ever made.  We celebrated at our house and the thought of you getting cake on your shirt made me sick to my stomach.  I soon got over this and now allow you to get whatever you like on your shirt.

Your 2ND Birthday!  On your second birthday, we celebrated at home and had a Strawberry Shortcake Theme.  We invited kids from the daycare and family.  Herkie and Josabi even made their way to San Antonio to celebrate. (Looking for a photo)

Your 3RD Birthday! We secured your party at a place where you could bring the outdoors-in.  There were playground sets, bouncers, etc...  We even had a friend dress up as Dora the Explorer, your favorite.  You were terrified of the costume though and would have nothing to do with it. (Looking for a photo)

Your 4th Birthday!  We had a BALL on your 4th birthday and invited friends to come dressed as a prince, ballerina or princess.  We transformed the dining room into a princess themed event and served lasagna and salad. (Looking for a photo)

Your 5TH Birthday at Mimi & Herkie's.  We managed to throw a small birthday party for you and Lucas during Thanksgiving at Mimi and Herkie's.  It was small but you had so much fun celebrating with your cousins.

Your 5TH Birthday!  We had it at Josabi's on a cold Sunday afternoon.  You invited your friend, Arden and family.  We took you to PartyCity and you picked various decorations of interest. (none of them matched and that was ok.

Your 6th Birthday!  We had it at Josabi's on a cold Sunday afternoon.  The Toadies were scheduled to play on stage that night and they did their sound check during your party.  When they weren't sound checking, you played Hannah Montana and had a chocolate/candy themed party.  Your guests were able to make candy necklaces, pass the candy, pin the lollipop on Ashley and had their faces painted with various candy designs.  You invited your entire kindergarten class and your family. You received your first guitar on this birthday and it was a purple Hannah Montana guitar.  The Toadies were the first band to sign it.

Your 7TH Birthday.  We had your 7th Birthday at BIG'Z Burgers and you invited family and a few friends from school.  You waited for Gage to arrive for most of the party and had an ICarly birthday cake.  You were so busy playing soccer and tag on the grassy field you forgot to eat your cake.

Your 8TH Birthday was at Skateland West.  You invited your family and your BFF, Kierstan.  You had a lot of fun and almost won Limbo out on the floor.  You opened your presents only to stop halfway through so you and your guests could participate in the fast skate.

We are now on the cusp of your 9th birthday and your ideas of how and where to celebrate your birthday have changed about a 100 times.  Some of the things you have mentioned over the year are a birthday party at Chuck e Cheese, the bowling alley, the roller rink, your house, a hotel, and your most recent, a request to take three friends to Disney World.  You have specified that you would like doughnuts delivered to school instead of cupcakes.  I'm not sure where we'll end up but one thing I do know for sure is that I will enjoy each and every moment I have with you on your special day.

In search of a gift....

It's a natural thought.  Everyone or every parent has had it at least once, most over and over again.  We want to find it and find it fast.  Most of what we want or hope to find is the popular choice.  The option that provides us with the greatest response, the longest chance of conversation, the greatest collection of friends and the highest chance of success -- YOUR GIFT.

Your gift is something I have been in search of since the day you were born.  I have selfishly wondered what it would be and how it would affect you.  I have quizzed you hoping it would be the gift of academics, I have recorded you hoping it would be the sound of your voice, I have signed you up for dance, sports, gymnastics and swimming hoping it would be the power of your body.

While you are skilled in many ways at all of the things listed above, I have never been so moved while in search of your gift until this past week.  It isn't something you see during a sporting event on the Olympics or a song you hear on American Idol -- yet, it's so powerful it can move mountains.  It's your GIFT!  As I realized this, it was as if past moments had been unlocked from a storage in my brain.  Over the past few days, I have been replaying them in my mind and am so amazed at the POWER of your gift.

 So here is the story of how and when I finally realized YOUR GIFT!

"It's time to sell Nuts for Girl Scouts." I said to you on Sunday night.  You quickly hopped over to me with your nut sheet in hand and wrote down your goals.  "$1,000 dollars in sales."  You said, in the most confident voice.  "WOW, "that's the top goal on the sheet." I said.  "I know, but that's what I want to do."  I applauded you for having such ambitious goals and then asked you how you would make this goal.  Before I could finish my sentence, you asked if you could take the form to school the next day.  I shook my head and said yes, thinking you would just ask your current teachers.  I also told you that you shouldn't ask your fellow classmates as we couldn't risk purchasing the item and they not being able to pay.  You said, "Okay." and our conversation was over.

The next day I picked you up from gymnastics and we went for a bite to eat.  On the way back, you asked if we could go back to the gym to pick up your nut form.  I agreed and then asked you if she sold any nuts.  You said, "mom, I only have 11 lines left on my form."  My instant response was, "Ashley, I told you not to sell to students."  You said, "Mom, I didn't.  I only sold to adults."  So we got the form and I looked at it in AWE!  I was shocked.  You asked teachers, administration, the ALE teachers, the TLC teachers -- EVERYONE!  When I asked how you did this, you said, "I asked my teacher if I could sell nuts during my recess time.  I then went from teacher to teacher and asked if they wanted to buy something."  The funniest part came when you said, "Mom, it's hard for them to say no to me."  We continued our conversation as I tallied up the order.  I looked back at you and said do you realize you sold 34 items in one day.  You looked at me and said, "I know! And tomorrow I'm going to sell again."

I further learned when dropping off a surprise lunch for you at school this week that you also stated your goals and were very confident when asking for the sale.  I've often seen you in action, sometimes saying, that little girl is to going to be a powerful salesperson but I never looked at it as YOUR GIFT, YOUR something that makes you who you are, that makes you unique, special, amazing, spectacular.

You are an AMAZING motivator!  You have the power to move people, to give them a reason to believe; you can find their strengths and weaknesses and use it to empower them and you make moments into everlasting memories for those who cross your path.  YOU have a GIFT and this is something that no one can take from you unless you let them.

Your GIFT has taught me a lesson; the lesson to stop searching for things society says you should have or be in order to be successful and to start embracing who you are and what you have or can do at that very moment.  We all have a gift, we just need to have the patience to understand that a GIFT comes in all different forms and at different times in our lives.  None are better than others but simply different.

I found this sheet in your school bag the other day and it's PERFECT.  It said.....

I'm not perfect.  Other people are not perfect. I have some faults.  Other people do too.  

I don't have to wait until I'm perfect to be OK.  I am OK because I am who I am.

These are five things that are unique about me:

1. I am good at swimming

2. I am good at sports

3. I am good at school

4. I am good at math

5. I am good at writing

My favorite kind of sandwich is: all sandwiches