The news came as I walked the aisles of Home Depot looking for wallpaper, lamps, fans -- just anything that could improve my home or give me something to do. After I heard the news, I went to the carwash and spent $15 + $5 for a tip. Thinking back, I wonder if I ventured to the carwash because of my dad as I know that washing cars is one of his most favorite things to do in the whole world. In fact, we had just discussed how bad I needed a car wash and could use his help -- since he was the expert.
On Wednesday, John and I took Ashley to a pediatrician ENT to further explore why Ashley could not pass a hearing test. Just last week, we had her tested at the elementary school and then at her pediatrician. After the third hearing test, it was confirmed -- Ashley has hearing loss. The recommendation made by the doctor was that Ashley have tubes put into her ears as the fluid in her ear may be why Ashley is suffering from hearing loss. Without a blink of the eye, we scheduled the surgery. As we considered dates, we were faced with a roadblock -- Health Insurance. We have group health insurance; however, our family deductible is $5,000. The surgery cost about $1500 for the tubes and then another $1500 for the hospital -- All of which have to be paid before the actual surgery. While we have the money, it was supposed to be used to pay our taxes in April. Now we would have to work even harder to save even more money to be able to give our daughter what she needs to be able to hear adequately.
The week continued on -- John and I not doing too well. On the outside, we are a picture perfect family but on the inside it's crumbling. As I scour the photos down the hall, we look amazing, perfectly happy! It's not until I think about the moments in which those photos took place that I start to weep. Behind the scenes, it's a struggle. A struggle to find balance between two people that are just completely different. I think back to 10 years ago and wonder how two people who were so different came together as one and now we can't even enjoy each other's company.
What happened? John has always said we were a different kind of family, a family that would beat the odds, a family that would stick together no matter what! We always said that families give up too easily on each other and get divorced before even trying to reconcile. So here I am on this Sunday evening sitting in the present, reflecting on the past, and thinking about the future. What's next in the Jansky chapter? Will we survive this rough patch? Only time will tell!
It's been a tough week, a tough week indeed and this song sums up how I feel at this very moment! Looking back, I'll probably laugh and think it's cheesy -- but tonight, tonight it's perfect!
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it, Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I Got to keep trying Got to keep my head held high
Theres always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about whats waiting on the other side
Its the climb
The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
The pain I’m knowing
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going And I,
I got to be strong Just keep pushing on,
Theres always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about whats waiting on the other side
Its the climb
Theres always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a up-hill battle
Sometimes were gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about whats waiting on the other side
Its the climb
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith Keep your faith
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